Why Octomom Natalie Suleman Was "the Poster Person for Mommy Shaming"

How Octomom Nadya Suleman & Her 14 Kids Are Taking Their Lives Back

For Natalie Suleman, eight would have been enough. 

Frankly, the single child born to Lithuanian teacher Angela Suleman and Palestianian restaurant owner Edward Suleman would have been happy with seven. 

So, two years after now-18-year-old twins Caleb and Calyssa joined older siblings Elijah, 23, Amerah, 22, Joshua, 21, and Aidan, 19, the graduate student booked an appointment to see Dr. Michael Kamrava, the fertility doctor that helped her conceive her eldest six children through in vitro fertilization. 

"I went back to have one more," Suleman explained in an exclusive interview with E! News. "Based on my past reproductive history, he's always transferred in five to six embryos." With the exception of her twins, she noted, the process usually resulted in "singletons." 

As planned, Kamrava implanted the six embroyos—left over from the procedure she'd undergone to have her twins. "My uterus started to heavily contract," Suleman detailed, "and according to the doctor, they all were expelled." Though she was "heavily sedated," she continued, "He asked me if he could transfer in the other six that were in the petri dish."

Some seven months later—on Jan. 26, 2009—her alter ego "Octomom" was born alongside the world's first set of surviving octuplets: Noah, Maliyah, Isaiah, Nariyah, Makai, Josiah, Jeremiah and Jonah.

Having already done the postpartum thing five times before, Suleman was prepared to tackle another newborn phase, albeit a much busier one. Welcoming eldest Elijah "was the most challenging time, because you're new," she reflected. "After I had the others, it started to become more natural." 

But all the parenting books in the world couldn't have prepped her for the level of vitriol that was leveled her way. 

"Octomom was conceived by the media," Suleman said, calling the public perception of her "this caricature" that was "the polar opposite of my true character." 

While she had been hoping to build a bigger family than the one she experienced growing up in Fullterton, Calif., she was definitively not seeking notoriety. 

"One of the biggest misconceptions is that I wanted it," Suleman shared. "I wanted fame. None of that's true."

Not that she had the time in the late '00s to give it all that much consideration. 

Immediately following their birth, "I was completely hyper focused on the well-being of the octuplets, and, of course, my kids at home," Suleman recounted. "So, I didn't have time. I chose not to have any time. I compartmentalized everything where I'm just focusing only on my family and whatever else is happening out there, that's not my concern. The safety of my family took precedence over everything."

And that meant making some tough choices. 

With childcare ("I had nannies until they turned 2," she said of the octuplets, "and then no help after that") and a $1,000-a-week grocery bill that included 21 dozen eggs and 20 gallons of milk, she relied on a blend of government assistance and all-out hustle to survive. 

That meant making deals with the same tabloids she felt had exploited her story, taking a job as an exotic dancer and even signing on for the AVN-winning adult film Octomom Home Alone.

"I was in autopilot, just moving, moving, moving," Suleman recounted. "And I was also living in a state of palpable anxiety and fear, all the death threats and then the stalkers."

She figures that for years, "I was in a state of fight or flight," said Suleman, "and I'm a fighter. So, I kept fighting. I will never stop fighting for my family."

Not to say she wasn't forced to navigate some low lows. 

"There's too many moments of adversity and the trials and tribulations to even discuss," she said. But she dove deep when filming Confessions of Octomom. "I was strongly encouraged to sit in it," she added of the process. "I didn't want to. It's painful."

But the way she sees it, "That’s the time when we actually start to heal, when we sit in the pain and we sit in the suffering and we process those feelings." 

These days, though, she's spending more time celebrating than wallowing. Among her recent highs: Watching several of her more introverted children embrace the chance to share their real story. 

"My oldest ones, for the very first time, especially my oldest two boys, they're going to be speaking on camera," Suleman said of Elijah and Joshua. "I'm just so proud of them."

And proud doesn't even begin to cover how she felt when Joshua and his wife welcomed their first child, a baby girl, last August. 

"We're actually really, really close as a family," the newly minted grandmother said of her brood, crediting their commitment to open, honest communication.

And while she's not the best at patting herself on the back for her ability to survive, "Now I'm just reflecting on everything that's happening, and I'm so grateful," said Suleman. "I would

call what I feel, what I'm experiencing, just gratitude."

Which is why she's so eager to pay it forward. 

After spending a decade and a half maintaining the lowest possible profile, she's ready for the world to know her story. 

"It's one of, I believe, strength and survival and success, despite all the odds," Suleman detailed. "So if I could come out the other side stronger and even more resilient and still thriving, then I think women out there who feel they can't overcome adversity, maybe somehow my story will inspire them to press on."

Catch up on her journey so far by checking out some of her family's sweetest photos.